¿Cómo puedo decir I’m Lost


So, like an idiot, I never took Spanish in high school. I wanted to but it wasn’t a requirement to graduate and back then, I was very focused on only taking classes I needed to get my diploma. In college, I ended up enrolling in Spanish to fulfill my GC Program. I think I can speak for most people when I say, no one likes being surrounded by unfamiliarity. It leaves room for uneasiness and imagining worst case scenarios. For me, the challenge of learning a new language is the part I actually enjoy. The fact that I’m failing in a place where I’m suppose to be adapting is what destroys me. Not only do I hate that feeling but I feel it in other situations way more than I should. I sense it in Spanish class, everyday walking around people who I don’t know and who don’t know me, and at work when someone else that’s new makes the place unfamiliar. It sounds bad but everyone’s forced to live everyday regardless of what they’re comfortable with. I’m not physically lost, I just can’t seem to place how I arrived here and have no clear picture as to where I’m going. It occurred to me that after enrolling in this SPAN 1090 class my future is being decided by me taking this sidewalk to class rather than through the dining hall, the dining hall where I may see a friend from last year, where we might catch up and hang out and decide to study abroad in a place that may or may not have native Spanish speakers. It’s not like I can’t get over the fact that I have no plan. If I had one, I’d probably have trouble sticking to it but for the first time, I’m doing things that I would have never done before. I’m taking that walk through the dining hall. It was just brought up to the surface of my conscious. Scientific conclusion, you’ll have a brake down as a result of not taking one class in high school.


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