Young & Tired

When someone asked me what I wanted to be when I was younger I said, “One of those people who ate really fast, a competitive eater.” And every time I went to the dinner table I would say I was training, be the first one done, and go watch TV. Simple right? No judgement because I was little. Now that I’m older people ask me what i want to do with my life. If I say I want to be a musician, they say oh cool so you like music. Do you have a back up plan? If I had said I want to be a otolaryngologist or a lawyer, the response would have been, oh cool it’s good to have aspirations. Do you have a college picked out? It’s not rocket science. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who believes in you. If any young adult, high school and up, has said I don’t know as a response to a future specific question, it means they’ve definitely thought about it. Probably more than anybody will know and have come up with the conclusion that their dreams are all they’ll ever be. So now they have to think of a plan B that they’ll never be sure enough about and are most likely still thinking, trying to compromise with themselves. I’ve lived this day in and day out. My default answer has always been I don’t know yet because I was scared of the reaction I would get when I told anybody what my so called “dreams” were. Why does striving to be a doctor take more dedication than striving to be an artist. Intelligence has always been superior to creativity. Throwing paint on a canvas somehow doesn’t make sense. 

If what you want to do doesn’t make sense to someone who is logical in this world where there’s not enough food for everybody, who you are is based on what you have, we pay thousands for knowledge but know no value, where words hurt and war saves plus and a punch of other poetic crap making sense then by all means do what you want to do. It’s the benefit of being young. We don’t have to make sense.

Life is an investment but you may not live long enough to see the rewards. 



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